Unlucky
by AquilaTempestas
Summary: Cyrus forgets to buy Mars a gift for her birthday again. Mars decides it's time to make him pay and convinces Charon to place a twenty-four hour bad luck curse on him. Rated T for sexual references, mild profanity and random moments
1. The Curse

**Disclaimer**

The rights to Pokemon do not belong to me

**Title**

Unlucky

**Summary**

Cyrus forgets to buy Mars a gift for her birthday again. Mars decides it's time to make him pay and convinces Charon to place a twenty-four hour bad luck curse on him.

**Special Thanks**

Thanks to fellow Pokemon authors RodQuest and Cascadenight for their suggestions on the Pokemon Fiction Writers group on Facebook (if you feel like joining, you can find the link on my profile page)

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**Chapter One: The Curse**

It was Mars' twenty second birthday day and all Galactic members in the building were celebrating it. Well, _almost _everyone. There was one person who had chosen not to celebrate because he had forgotten even though Mars had been dropping subtle hints all week. Apparently he was 'too busy' doing other stuff. 'Too busy' often translated to 'I don't give a damn' in Cyrus-speak.

Mars sat down on the couch and glanced at the presents around her. The grunts had visited all shops in the Sinnoh region to purchase her favourite perfumes and such while her fellow commanders cooked up a feast fit for a queen. She loved them dearly, but she couldn't help but feel disappointed. "I can't believe he forgot my birthday… again," she said, shoulders slumped.

Jupiter sat down besides her and patted Mars on the shoulder. "If it makes you feel any better, he forgets mine too."

"Forgets? The boss doesn't forget anything. He just doesn't care about us," Saturn said. "He hates birthday parties, remember? It was the first rule he told us when we joined. No birthday parties at all because it's a waste of money and time."

Mars frowned. "That rule doesn't apply when it's his birthday though," she pointed out, remembering Cyrus' recent twenty-seventh birthday. He had commanded everyone in the building to work twenty-four hours while wearing ridiculous costumes. Their uniforms were bad enough already, but Cyrus insisted they each wear a clown outfit. He then spent the rest of the afternoon having his Pokemon chase down clowns for his amusement.

"I think it's time we teach the boss a lesson," Saturn said.

"And what do you propose we do, Saturn?" Mars said.

Saturn didn't reply. Obviously, he hadn't thought of an answer. The original three commanders sat down in silence, trying to think of a way to get revenge on their boss when Charon suddenly entered the room looking as though he had spent some time down at the local strip bar joint recently opened by Flint and Volkner.

"Hey Einstein," Jupiter called out. "Normally, I hate conversing with you, but we need your brains today."

"I would do anything for you, Jupiter," replied Charon, taking a seat next to the poor commander.

Jupiter cringed, and tried to move a couple of inches away, but Charon only moved closer. "Cyrus never celebrates our birthdays but we have to celebrate his. We've decided it's time to stop acting like doormats and take a stand. Have you got any ideas?"

Charon nodded. "I'm glad that you asked Jupiter because I have just the thing! You see, over the past few days, I've been studying my newly captured Rotom. Rotom can inflict a curse upon another Pokemon in battle, but he can also inflict a curse upon a human. Well, actually, all Ghost-types can but Rotom is the only one we have. Anyway, a human will suffer bad luck for twenty-four hours."

"Couldn't we just use a Buneary foot?" Mars said.

"Those things never work, trust me on this. I contacted Ghost-type masters for some information regarding Ghost-type blood and their uses. This will work – Rotom will spray him when I give the order. From then on, we'll have twenty-four hours to make him suffer."

"And how will Rotom spray him with his juice? He'll see a Pokemon coming," Saturn said, frowning.

"Rotom can take the shape of various household items. He'll pretend to be the fridge. When Cyrus opens it, I will give the order and Rotom will attack. The bad luck is more severe when a human gets sprayed directly in the face." He looked around the room. "I guess we're cursing Cyrus on behalf of the birthday girl?"

Mars nodded. "Yes. This better work Charon otherwise I'll have you castrated."

Charon just chuckled. "Good luck trying, Mars. I've already been castrated."

"I… I'm not going to ask," Mars replied, exchanging a confused 'what-the-fuck' glance with Jupiter while Saturn looked uncomfortable.

"Just give me a kiss and I'll prepare Rotom." Charon puckered up his lips.

Mars inwardly groaned. She had to kiss that thing? You're doing this for the greater good, she told herself. She leaned in forward and kissed Charon then pulled back immediately, wiping her mouth with the back of her hand. Gross. It was like kissing a giant brussel sprout. "Ew… that was gross," she muttered. Charon just grinned.

"Now, go and get the boss."

.

While Charon prepared his Rotom for the ultimate revenge, Jupiter, Mars and Saturn played a game of 'Scissors, Paper, Rock' to decide who should enter the boss' office. Saturn lost much to his surprise. "How in the name of Arceus does rock lose to paper?" Paper getting destroyed by scissors made sense and scissors getting destroyed by a rock was understandable, but paper defeating rock?

"Lure down the boss," Jupiter ordered.

"How am I supposed to do that?"

She shrugged. "You'll think of something." The girls ran away leaving poor Saturn alone. Saturn sighed and made his way towards the warp panels. Why walk up the stairs when you could warp to the top floor? He stepped in and instantly warped to his destination. He shook his head, waiting for the nausea to pass then approached the door. He knocked on the door. Several moments later, the door opened. "Hi boss!"

Cyrus frowned. "I hope you have a good reason for this unwanted visit?"

Saturn thought hard for something logical to say. Nothing came to mind so he just went with whatever. "Mars is distressed. The other commanders and I have tried to calm her down, but it will not work. We were thinking you could calm her down though and help her relax."

"What makes you think I can do that?"

Saturn smiled. "You are the boss. You can do everything!" he said, doing his best to suck up to him. Paying Cyrus compliments worked even if they weren't true. "If she is distressed, we won't be able to carry out our orders well."

"Very well. I shall talk to Mars."

Saturn did a little victory dance in his head. Little did Cyrus know he was going to get more than he bargained for. He stood behind Cyrus and followed him down the stairs and tried hard to stop himself from laughing. This was going to be hilarious.

_Meanwhile…_

Charon, Mars and Jupiter stood before their new fridge wearing big grins. Rotom looked almost identical to their old fridge except it now had purple eyes and purple limbs sticking out on the sides. Cyrus would probably know there was something wrong, but he didn't know about Rotom's mystery forms so their plan was safe… for now anyway.

Mars and Jupiter stood behind the counter while Charon stood on the left side of the Rotom fridge. Rotom would only respond to Charon so the girls just stood at the bench making themselves look pretty. Moments later, Saturn entered the room with Cyrus. Mars grew weak to the knees just by looking at her boss. It was no secret she was madly in love with him. He was so perfect in every way and she… wasn't. Was that why he refused to celebrate their birthdays?

"Mars is fine, Saturn. Whatever the problem was before seems like it has now been fixed," Cyrus said, irritation laced in his tone.

"Sorry, it must've been a brief case of PMS," Saturn said.

Cyrus didn't say anything. He glanced in the direction of Mars again then shook his head and walked over to the Rotom-fridge. He didn't notice the purple limbs but he did notice the eyes. "What happened to our fridge?"

"The grunts came down earlier to draw some eyes," Jupiter said.

Cyrus just stared at the eyes for a couple of moments then sighed, muttering something about clown suits and inflatable alien dolls. He reached down to grab the handle. As soon as his fingers brushed up against the handle, Charon yelled 'Use Curse now, Rotom!' and the fridge sprung to life. The upper door opened and whacked him in the face.

A black liquid squirted out, striking Cyrus square in the face. He cursed and staggered backwards, trying to wipe the disgusting crap of his face. "Get this off me!" he demanded. Charon grabbed his Rotom and returned it to its pokeball while Mars grabbed a paper towel. She wet it under the sink then cleaned the goo of his face, doing her best to stop to stop chuckling.

Once he was cleaned up, Mars helped Cyrus up from the ground. "Are you all right, boss?"

He glared. "You are going to act as if nothing has happened." He pushed Mars aside and made his way back to his office. Once he was gone, the commanders started laughing again.

"You think it has worked?" Saturn said.

"How soon will we know?" said Jupiter.

Charon smiled. "The effect is immediate."

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This was originally going to be a one-shot but I figure why not make it a few chapters long instead? Cyrus is my favourite character and it's so much fun putting him into hilarious and just plain awkward situations. Is there anything in particular you'd like to see happen to him? I do have a few ideas bordering on awkward sexual moments, but I'd be more than happy to hear your suggestions! Reviews are much appreciated, as always!


	2. Worsening Luck

**Disclaimer**

The rights to Pokemon do not belong to me

**Title**

Unlucky

**Summary**

Cyrus forgets to buy Mars a gift for her birthday again. Mars decides it's time to make him pay and convinces Charon to place a twenty-four hour bad luck curse on him.

**Special Thanks**

Thanks to ShinyPoochyena45, cascadenight and Sailor Taichichi Vegeta for reviewing the previous chapter! Thanks for the suggestions too!

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**Chapter Two: Worsening Luck**

Cyrus decided that staying in his office was the best possible place he could be in right now. Surely, nothing bad could happen to him in there? The walk back up the stairs was a long one though – over thirty steps. Normally, he'd walk all the way up for exercise purposes, but bad luck and stairs often did not end well. So he decided to use the warp panels.

But of course, he was experiencing a run of bad luck and the warp panels had stopped functioning. He took in a deep breath and headed towards the staircase. If he took it one step at a time then nothing bad could happen. Right? With great caution, Cyrus placed one foot on the stair. Nothing happened. Safe for now. He continued the process until he was halfway up the staircase when somehow he tripped up the stairs, landing right on his nose.

Bloody hell.

Wincing, he sat up, feeling his nose throb with pain. It wasn't long until he felt blood leaking out of his nose. Pinching his nose, he hurried up the stairs and somehow managed not to fall up again. Several grunts blocked his path, but they jumped out of the way when they saw their boss storming down the hallway.

He arrived at the bathroom. It was currently occupied by two people. A male and a female.

"Oh, yes! Do me harder!" said the girl.

Cyrus wasn't a complete fool. He knew what was going on in there. The grunts were having sex. He knew this because he had caught his parents in the act one unfortunate Monday afternoon when he had come home early from school. At first, he had assumed his father was trying to kill his mother because it sounded like she was in pain, but a couple of hours later he had been given 'the talk'. It was an awkward afternoon.

"Open the door or I will have Houndoom knock it down!" Cyrus demanded.

"Oh my gosh, it's the boss!"

"What do we do?"

"We finish this off in the Nap Room!"

"Okay!"

The door flung open. Two grunts with towels around themselves hurried out of the door. Neither grunt even bothered to check if he was all right. Selfish grunt, Cyrus thought. He wished he could identify them but since all the grunts were forced to look the same, he couldn't tell any of them apart. At least not in terms of appearance.

The bathroom stunk of sex. There were even traces of evidence left behind on the floor. Gross. He was going to get one of his commanders to clean up the mess because this was despicable. He grabbed a couple of tissues, wet them slightly and cleaned up the blood then exited the place, discarding the bloodied tissues into the rubbish bin.

Thankfully, he had an ice machine in his office which meant he didn't have to go all the way back downstairs to the kitchen. He arrived at his office and swiped his ID card. The door refused to open. What the heck? It worked fine yesterday. He tried again. The light flashed red. He sighed. What was it that the locals of Sinnoh say when things didn't go their way? Ah yes, it was 'fuck my life'.

It didn't help his nose was still bleeding. The blood had now travelled down his arms and shirt. It was a brand new jacket as well. He was going to have to go and ask Charon to fix up the swipe card system otherwise he'd never be able to enter his office again. The door couldn't be knocked down – it was specifically designed to withstand attacks from common Pokemon just encase anyone tried to prank him.

"Boss?"

He turned around. Mars was standing there, doing her best not to laugh. He realized he must've looked ridiculous standing there pinching his bleeding nose, trying his damn hardest to get his swipe card to work. "What do you want?" he snapped, not in the mood to deal with incompetent immature commanders. They got him into this mess.

"I could help you know."

He glared. "I highly doubt that."

She frowned. "I'm just trying to help."

"I don't _need your help,_" he snarled. "You'd be the last commander I'd ask assistance from."

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"You are a constant thorn in my side," he said heatedly, walking towards her, eyes fixed on her face. "You are always trying to get my attention… Do you not understand I avoid communicating with you because I don't find your company worth my time?" He paused for dramatic effect. "Why do you think I send you away so often? It's not because I think you're efficient, it's because I can't stand the sight of you!"

Mars bit down on her bottom lip, looking as though she was going to start crying at any moment now. Her eyes began to water. "I'm glad that we put a twenty-four curse on you! You deserve to feel miserable!" She stormed away. He heard her sobs fill the hallway.

He had been cursed? He remembered getting sprayed by Charon's Rotom. That black crap was the cause of all of this. What else had she said? Something about twenty-four hours? If that was the case he was just going to sit down somewhere, wait it out and hope no harm came to him. Right now though, he really had to sort out his bleeding nose problem.

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After taking a tumble down the stairs, he found himself in the kitchen again, and grabbed an ice-block packet, holding it against his nose. Eventually, the bleeding stopped. Now he was just left with a bloodied brand new jacket which cost a few hundred dollars. There was no way he could change out of it either since his swipe card decided to stop functioning. It wasn't like it had magically expired or anything either. Just another case of bad luck.

Now he was coming down with a headache. Hopefully, it wasn't the sign of a cold coming on. Perhaps it was just stress. Either way, he didn't like having headaches so he went to the medication cabinet in the kitchen and grabbed the RaticateTail pills developed by Archer and his friends. The pills were super effective in curing headaches and other cold symptoms. The pills were coloured blue.

He grabbed the plastic container and took one. The doctors often said only one pill was needed and your cold symptoms would go away within the next half hour. It was a miracle cure, but the downside was that these things cost a fortune. He drank some water, swallowed the pill and sat down at the kitchen table. Charon walked in a few moments later. Before Cyrus could demand Charon to sit down and tell him about this curse, Charon blurted out, "Have you seen my SlowPoke Tail pills?"

That was way too much information for Cyrus. Charon took SlowPoke Tail pills? What the hell? Who was he sleeping with and who would want to touch that thing anyway? He was too old for that. Cyrus was so stunned by that question, all thoughts of interrogating Charon faded away. "What do they look like?"

"They're blue. I put them in the RaticateTail container just to trick people since they're look quite similar, but upon close examination you can see one has 'SLOW 100' on it. I wonder if anyone was stupid enough to take some without checking first."

SlowPoke Tail pills in the container labelled RaticateTail? Shit. He knew what SlowPoke Tail pills did. He received an email about it in his inbox one morning from Ghetsis. They came in different dosages and the higher the dosage, the harder it was for the arousal to dim. "Have you tried the medication cabinet?"

Charon walked over and opened the cabinet and grabbed the container Cyrus had opened just before. Fuck. "Hey… I'm missing one. Someone has been going through the container."

"It wasn't me," Cyrus replied quickly. "Why would I take one of those anyway?"

Charon raised an eyebrow. "It was invented by Archer actually to help guys get erections. You know, some guys can't get it up… like me. You don't even need to be thinking something sexual. These pills are magical." He was studying Cyrus carefully now. "Are you positive you didn't take one by accident? With your bad luck and all, it _is _possible… And you were in here before me. I heard someone going through the cabinets."

"You caused my bad luck. Mars mentioned a twenty-four hour curse."

"She was mad. You never celebrate her birthday and she wanted to teach you a lesson." He swallowed a few pills, put the pills away and sat down across from Cyrus. "Speaking of Mars, I heard her crying before. Would I be right to assume you had something to do with it?"

He wanted to be angry at Charon, but right now impure thoughts were working their way into his mind. He shifted in his chair, drawing his chair in closer so it was harder to see, but it only made him look more interested in listening to Charon. "Yes." Think of something bad, he told himself. This was like a flashback to his early teenage years. Horrible times. Focusing on Charon was becoming increasingly difficult.

"She's upset, you know. She really looks up to you."

"What would happen if someone actually took one of those… SlowPoke Pills? How would they 'fix it'?" All his years of trying to suppress sexual thoughts were failing him now. The damn pill was far too strong! Before Charon could answer, Saturn walked into the room. He looked at Cyrus, raised both eyebrows and looked at Charon for answers.

"Nose bleed," Cyrus pointed out. "I wasn't attacked if that's what you're wondering."

"There's someone at the door, boss. It's Ghetsis. He won't go away until you speak to him."

Talking to Ghetsis meant standing up and that wasn't a good idea right now. "Tell him to come back later. Say that I'm busy right now."

"But you're not busy, boss."

"Are you forgetting that I am the one in charge here?" Cyrus demanded. Saturn gulped and ran away to tell Ghetsis to bugger off. That's when the worst possible thing happened. He really needed to use the bathroom now. He thought hard about his current situation. If he could somehow distract Charon then make a break for the bathroom without his 'situation' being seen… Great idea. It was worth a shot anyway.

He reached down to his belt and randomly selected one of his pokeballs and hurled it at Charon's head. It bounced off him, landed on the table then rolled off. Charom, being Charon, glanced down at the floor. Cyrus saw his chance and bolted. He'd return afterwards for the pokeball. The bathroom (not the one the grunts were in) was the safest place he could be right now since his office was closed to him. What could possibly go wrong?

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More randomness coming in the next chapter! Things are only going to get worse for poor Cyrus. I am still taking suggestions and I'll do what I can to work them in. As always, reviews are much appreciated!


	3. A Helping Hand

**Disclaimer**

The rights to Pokemon do not belong to me

**Title**

Unlucky

**Summary**

Cyrus forgets to buy Mars a gift for her birthday again. Mars decides it's time to make him pay and convinces Charon to place a twenty-four hour bad luck curse on him.

**Special Thanks**

Thanks to Pokmaster Ace, Neptune, ShinyPoochyena45, GamerGirl54321 and Sailor Taichichi Vegeta for reviewing the previous chapter! More randomness in this one!

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**Chapter Three: A Helping Hand **

Ghetsis banged on the front door yelling obscenities as loudly as he could, yet the door would not open. He tried banging his pimp cane against the door but that did nothing either. "I know you're inside! Open the damn door, Cyrus! You owe me some cash!" A fortnight ago, he along with Cyrus and the other bosses, all went down to the local topless bar because they had nothing better to do that day. Cyrus had 'conveniently' left his wallet at home so Ghetsis had paid. Now Ghetsis wanted his money back.

"The boss is busy!" Saturn said.

"Bullshit," said Ghetsis. "Open up or I will get my Hydreigon to blast the door down!" It wouldn't be the first time he used his steroid addicted dragon to knock down doors. The door still didn't open. What on earth was Cyrus doing in there that he refused to have the door opened? Looking at porn and jerking off? Having a private marathon viewing of some kiddie show? "All right. Your time is up. The door is going to be knocked down."

Ghetsis summoned his Hydreigon, nicknamed Princess, and destroyed the door. Hydreigon returned to his pokeball and Ghetsis stormed inside, pushing aside Saturn with his pimp cane. Saturn looked terrified. Ghetsis just shook his head. Cyrus just had to recruit the weird ones. "The boss is so going to kill me…" Saturn mumbled, looking up at Ghetsis, wide eyed with fear.

"Where is the fool?" Ghetsis demanded.

Charon walked in. "Hey there, Ghetsis. Are you looking for the boss? He's gone to the bathroom."

Ghetsis waved. He didn't mind Charon. The guy had access to many amazing miracle drugs that did wonders to the body and he got them for half price too. "Ah I see. He's scared of me, isn't he?" It was the pimp cane obviously. Everyone was scared of except for the girls who seemed to love it.

"I wouldn't say 'scared', rather, he's having a bout of bad luck today," Charon explained. "I guess he thought he'd be safe in the bathroom? We can go and find him. I'm sure he'll be happy to see you."

Cyrus was having a round of bad luck? Well, today was going to be an excellent day. Chuckling to himself, Ghetsis followed Charon down the hallway until they reached the entrance to the bathroom. The door was locked. Ghetsis banged on the door.

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The plan was to sit inside the bathroom until the twenty-four hour curse had passed. It just wasn't safe otherwise. Thankfully, the effects of the pills had died down and he was able to pee without any problems. He finished doing what he needed do and was about to pull the zipper back up when a loud bang startled him.

Then there was pain. Intense pain. He glanced down and almost cried. Somehow, he had gotten himself stuck in the zipper. Only the stupid, the young and the drunk did stuff like that, but he was cursed so that explained his situation. He tried pulling the zipper down but that just made matters worse. He held back a cry. Thank Arceus that door was locked otherwise… No. He didn't want to think about that. Right now, he needed to find a way to 'free himself' without causing permanent damage.

He hopped over to the drawers beneath the sink and searched for something that would make it easier to slip out, but the drawers were empty. He was not surprised. He was cursed after all. Things just weren't going to go his way today. Fighting the urge to break down into manly tears, Cyrus remained in one place, unmoving, as he tried to think of a way out of this embarrassing situation. He needed help, that much was obvious, but not medical help.

"Cyrus! Get your ass out here right now!" Ghetsis said. "Don't make me break down this door!"

Oh Arceus no, thought Cyrus. It would be bad enough to have all his workers come rushing down to laugh and take photos, but for another boss to catch him like this? He would be forever shamed. Why the hell didn't those stupid designers design man-friendly zippers? He needed scissors or pliers and some form of lubricant to make it slide out faster with minimal pain if possible.

"What are you doing in there?" Ghetsis said, growing impatient now.

"I need... help…" he managed to squeak out.

"What?" Ghetsis bellowed.

Cyrus swore. This was humiliating. "Olive oil," he said.

"What the fuck? Olive oil?" Ghetsis replied. "That's your idea of lubricant? You are a freak. Well, I'll let you finish off. I'll wait for you in the lounge. I'm not leaving until you give me my money for those beers I bought you a couple of weeks ago." He heard Ghetsis walk away. Ghetsis thought he was jacking off? Panic rose. He didn't want Ghetsis to walk away. Now how was he going to get the items he needed? There was the option of yanking the zipper down as quickly as possible, but that was too scary.

"Boss! Hurry up in there!" said a voice. Female this time. It belonged to… Mars? Last time, their conversation didn't end on a high note, but she could be his last option. She was his most devoted commander and she'd do anything to help, even if she was a little pissed at him at the moment. Surely, she wouldn't walk away and let him suffer? Actually, she probably would, said a voice in the back of his head.

"Mars!" he burst out. "I need your help!" For once, he had to forget all about his pride.

"I thought you said you didn't need it?" Mars said from behind the door.

"I am your boss! You are meant to do as I ask!"

"I'm not a slave!"

Not a smart choice of words. He tried again. "Look… I need assistance right now. We can strike a deal after, all right? I just need you to get me a few items."

There was a three second pause. "What sort of deal?"

"Anything!" He didn't care right now. He just wanted to fix this problem now before it got any worse!

"Anything?" Mars didn't sound pissed at him now. He knew this was dangerous ground to walk upon – Mars never forgot anything. She was going to take advantage of this it and he knew it. It was because of her he was in this mess in the first place! Well, she had gotten her revenge. Sneaky commander.

"Yes! Anything!" He almost added, 'shut up and help me, fool!' but managed not to. That would not end up well and he'd more than likely end up in some Pokemon Centre with journalists sitting outside the building, waiting to write up a column in the papers about how 'the Galactic boss got himself stuck in a zipper'. How the Champion and her minions laugh at his embarrassment. Actually, the entire region would be laughing. Probably the world.

"All right then, boss. But you have to do exactly what I say otherwise no deal."

"All right, all right!"

"The deal is this – you have to let me dominate you."

"Wh-what?"

"You heard me. I'm on top. You are on the bottom. Refuse and I won't help you now."

What did she mean by dominate? Surely she wasn't referring to… activities that generally took place in the bedroom? But of course she did because Mars had an unhealthy obsession with him and this was her chance to get him to do it without resorting to drugs, alcohol and chains. "Fine, fine! I'll do whatever! Just get me some pliers and some cooking oil!" There was another pause which was soon followed by laughter. "This isn't a laughing matter!"

"Sorry boss… but you got… caught? Ah ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!" Her laughter continued for a couple of moments before she recollected herself. "I'll go and get your items. I'll be back." He heard her laughing again. A few moments later, she returned and knocked on the door. "Open the door, boss. Can't give you what you need if the door is closed."

Right. Of course. Open the door. He hopped over and placed one hand on the knob and turned it clockwise. As soon as the door clicked open, Mars forced herself inside. Cyrus couldn't stop her, but he did manage to cover himself up with his other hand. This wasn't exactly what he had in mind. She wasn't even carrying scissors or pliers with her nor cooking oil. She did have a bottle of baby oil though. "Let's get started!"

Cyrus would've run if he could for the maniacal gleam in her eyes worried him. He was actually now relieved she wasn't carrying dangerous objects otherwise she might have caused great damage. "I can do this myself."

She rolled her eyes. "No, you can't. If you could, you would've done it by now. Move your hand, boss." He refused to. She sighed. "I've seen it all before, boss. I have been on the receiving end of Charon's weekend surprise too, you know."

He sniffed. Today really sucked. "Have you done this before?"

She nodded. "It happened to Saturn once. And it happened to Volkner – Maylene wrote about it on her blog. Anyway, I need you to lie down. You'll want to bite down on something as well because this is going to hurt but it's better than taking a trip to the Pokemon Centre. I'm going to have to get the other guys in here to hold you down too, boss."

"No!"

"Yes. I don't want you ripping my head off."

There wasn't any way he was going to get out of this. He removed his jacket and lay down on the floor doing his best not to scream because screaming just wasn't his style. Arceus, this was embarrassing and it was all due to this stupid curse for not doing anything special for Mars' birthday. From this day on, he was going to ensure he did something so this wouldn't happen again.

"I'll be right back with the crew."

Fuck my life, he thought.

.

The torture continues! Some special guests will be making a cameo in the next chapter! Keep the ideas coming everyone! I will be incorporating them at some point in this story! Reviews are much appreciated, as always!


	4. Selfies

**Disclaimer**

The rights to Pokemon do not belong to me

**Title**

Unlucky

**Summary**

Cyrus forgets to buy Mars a gift for her birthday again. Mars decides it's time to make him pay and convinces Charon to place a twenty-four hour bad luck curse on him.

**Special Thanks**

Thanks to inishiderp, ItachiXDarkness, Lonely Galactic, Sailor Taichichi Vegeta, Pokemaster Ace and GamerGirl54321 for reviewing the last chapter!

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**Chapter Four: Selfies**

The operation to free Cyrus' precious tool from the evil zipper was about to commence. Ghetsis could hardly wait to begin the tortu-er, rescue mission. He was so excited for it he pulled out his Poketch and prepared to take a recording of the whole episode so he could blackmail Cyrus later should the need arise. Christmas had come early!

"What kind of an idiot gets their junk caught in their zipper?" Ghetsis said loudly, earning a snigger from Saturn. Cyrus didn't even bother trying to defend himself – his teeth were clamped around his jacket's sleeve. The only sound he could make was a few growls and other bizarre noises. "Hey Saturn, let's take a selfie."

He motioned for Saturn to sit on one side of Cyrus while he sat on the other side. "Hey Mars, do you want to be in the photo too?" Saturn asked.

Mars smiled. "Sure, why not?" She lowered down to the ground, sitting behind Cyrus' head, and placed her head in between the two boys.

Ghetsis held the Poketch before their faces, his finger hovering over the 'capture' button then counted down to three. "Three… two… one… SMILE!" He gave his most diabolical smirk then hit the 'capture' button. "Excellent!" He put the device away and looked at Saturn. "Hey, you need to add me on PokeBook so I can tag you."

"All right then. I'll do that after we save the boss," Saturn said.

Ah right, of course. Saving the boss from losing his junk. "Right. So who is going to lube him up so it's easier to slip out his pecker?" He looked at Saturn. Saturn looked at Ghetsis. Ghetsis raised his hands defensively. "No way am I touching that thing." Both males turned to Mars. "She can do it. We'll hold him down."

"Okay Cyrus, I know you can't respond, but I'm just letting you know, we're about to commence the operation. Bite down hard – this is going to hurt," Mars said, then grabbed the bottle of baby oil and started slathering her hands in the stuff. To Ghetsis' amusement, Cyrus actually looked terrified. He pulled out his Poketch again and took a quick photo to commemorate the moment then placed it on the bin and hit record.

Mars went to work, covering as much as she could of him with the baby oil then placed a hand on the zipper. Ghetsis sat down on Cyrus' left arm while Saturn sat down on his right. It was the easiest way to hold the guy down. "Go for it, Mars!"

"Three… two…" Mars didn't even get to three when she yanked the zipper down, eliciting a deep growl of pain from the Galactic boss. He thrashed violently, trying to throw off Ghetsis and Saturn, but their weight pinned him down. "It's done, boss!" she chirped, withdrawing her hands. "You've lost a bit of skin, and there's a bit of blood, but you'll survive." She stood up and washed her hands.

Ghetsis stood up. "No action for you for a few days!"

"I don't think the boss gets any," Saturn commented.

Cyrus made a noise. They ignored him.

"Nothing?" Ghetsis arched his brows, looking down at Cyrus with disgust. "Wow, you are a loser." Again, Cyrus made a sound, and tried to grab Ghetsis, but the Plasma leader slapped his hand away. "So, tell me someone. What happened to him? He's not usually this much of a fool."

Saturn opened his mouth to answer, but Mars provided an explanation instead. "It was my fault. The boss refused to celebrate my birthday so I figured it was time to get some payback on him. Charon's Rotom sprayed on him and now he's been cursed with twenty-four hours of bad luck." She looked at Cyrus giving him an apologetic look. "He's been through a lot, but the day isn't half over yet."

"You'll have to babysit him until the curse wears off," Saturn said.

Ghetsis snorted. "Just let him make a fool of himself. He'll never learn otherwise." He stood up. "Anyway, I was going to demand Cyrus to give me money he owes me, but I'll come back when he's not prone to such bad luck. I don't want him accidentally burning it up or anything. Catch you all later – remember, Saturn, add me."

.

Ghetsis left the bathroom. Saturn looked at Mars. "Well, you seem to know what you are doing, so I'll just take my leave and let you look after him."

He hurried out of the room before Mars could stop him. Alone with the boss. It was exactly what she wanted, but sadly, the boss' current status put her sexual fantasies out of her mind. He wasn't in working condition at the moment. All she could do until he had fully recovered was babysit him. She removed the jacket from his mouth and gazed down at him again. Poor baby, she thought.

The boss lay still on the ground, panting heavily, obviously still recovering from the terror of having his pride and joy stuck in his zipper. She suspected he'd be avoiding wearing such pants for awhile now. "It's all right, boss," she said softly, stroking his forehead gently, as if comforting a young child. "You haven't lost anything." Except some pride and dignity perhaps, but at least he was physically still intact.

He grunted. "…Never do that again…" He paused then spoke further. "Thank you, Mars."

The politeness of his comment took her by surprise. He was usually polite, but he never said thank you to anyone, no matter what. Hearing him say such a simple, but meaningful word was like having won the lottery – a miracle. "No problem. I'm always here to help if you ever need a hand with anything." She winked.

His expression remained vacant. Of course he wouldn't pick up the hint. The boss was so clueless when it came to the matters of sexual conquest. That was going to have to change eventually because really, being a virgin past thirty was just plain embarrassing in her eyes, especially for a male. Or at least… she thought he was one. He never spoke of sex and he had never given signs he had interest in anyone.

"You're going to have pants, you know boss. I don't think you want to be wearing them again," she pointed out.

"…I know… I shall do that myself."

"You sure about that, boss? You might hurt yourself again."

He grimaced, and she caught a brief glimpse of fear in his eyes. "...My office is locked…"

"Don't worry, boss. I'm sure I'll find something for you to wear." Which was a lie. She didn't have anything that would fit him. Even Saturn's clothes wouldn't do because the guy wore skin-tight clothing all the time. Cyrus wouldn't be caught dead wearing something so hideous. Oh wait, she thought. I do have something he can wear!

A kilt. She had purchased one from Lysandre's store one fine Friday morning because it was on sale. It wasn't that she needed it, but having one in her dressing room made her feel pretty good about herself. Poor Cyrus. Watching him walk around in a kilt would be hilarious, but the poor guy would have his reputation damaged beyond repair.

She stood up. "I'll be right back, boss! Don't go anywhere!" Not that he could anyway. She picked up his jacket and threw it over his lower half just encase some nosy grunt entered the bathroom. Once he was covered, she rushed out and immediately raced up the stairs to grab the kilt. Jupiter was waiting.

"Hey Jupi," Mars said.

"I heard a scream. Everything all right with the boss?"

Mars nodded. "Yeah. I just have to grab the kilt." She headed over towards the dressing room and stepped inside, her eyes darting around frantically for the black and green kilt.

"A kilt?"

"The boss… had an accident. He can't wear pants for awhile."

"Oookay…. I'm not going to ask further questions."

"Just try not to laugh at him, all right?"

"I'll try, but I'm not making any promises."

Mars found the kilt on a hanger. She took it down and sprinted out of the room back towards the boss whom was still lying down on the ground. Holding the kilt up high, she turned it around so he could get a good view of it. The horror on his face was worth paying a high price to see. He looked terrified.

"What is that?"

"Your temporary replacement for pants!" she cheered.

"…I am not wearing that."

"Would you prefer to wear a dress then?"

"…This is your entire fault, commander."

Mars wagged her finger in his face. "You brought this on yourself. I didn't mean for you to get hurt like this, but your actions led to this moment." She threw it down on him and took a step back. "You have to deal with it. I'll be waiting outside." Before Cyrus could get out another word, she stepped out of the bathroom, closing the door behind her and guarded it. Poor Cyrus.

.

More insanity coming up! Reviews are much appreciated, as always!


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